When Life Feels Like Extremes: Finding Gratitude in the Mess

Sometimes I look at my life and think, why does everything feel like such an extreme?

There are these incredible high points: experiences I never imagined I would have and opportunities that make me stop and think, wow, is this really my life? And then I come home and I’m washing dishes in the bathroom sink or realizing I can’t even make something as simple as eggs where I live. That pretty much sums up the last few weeks.

There have been some really special moments. Being invited to the New York Stock Exchange and being there for the Closing Bell was absolutely one of them. There have been exciting things happening in my business, time with family, travel, celebrations, and those moments when I feel incredibly grateful for where life has taken me.

Then there is regular life: construction delays, living without a working kitchen, and trying to figure out where to prepare food, where to wash things, where everything is, and how to keep any kind of normal routine when the basic structure of your home is completely discombobulated.

And the dust. So much dust.

You clean it, and then more work gets done, which of course you want because you want the project to move forward, and then there’s another layer of dust, more debris, more things out of place. At some point you realize you’ve somehow gotten used to living with construction dust, stuff everywhere, and a home that doesn’t quite feel settled.

I don’t think I fully appreciated how much our surroundings support our habits until so much of that structure disappeared.

The things that normally happen almost automatically suddenly take thought and effort. I have to figure out what I’m eating, where I can make it, whether I can cook what I normally eat, how I’m prepping food, and where I put everything. I’m also trying to work out and get my work done with people coming in and out and decisions constantly needing to be made.

And, of course, there’s a dog who has absolutely no concern about whether my day is running according to schedule.

Some days I feel completely on top of things. Other days I feel like I’m just moving from one thing to the next, trying to keep all the balls in the air.

Maybe everyone’s life is some version of this, with the highs feeling really high and the frustrating parts feeling really frustrating. Sometimes they happen so close together that it almost gives you emotional whiplash.

I think the lesson for me lately has been that gratitude really is a practice.

It’s easy to feel grateful when you’re standing in the middle of an incredible experience. The practice is finding gratitude when you’re washing dishes in the bathroom sink, wiping down the same dusty surface for the third time, or wishing you could just make yourself a couple of eggs without having to think about it. To recognize that something can be frustrating and temporary at the same time. I can be annoyed about what isn’t working while still being incredibly thankful for everything that is. I don’t have to pretend the frustrating parts aren’t frustrating. I just don’t want them to become the whole story.

Life right now feels a little messy, a little exciting, a little exhausting, and very full. Maybe that’s not an interruption of life. Maybe that’s just life.