My Sandwich Generation Life: Navigating Spontaneity and Planning

There’s something about shopping with your adult son that hits different, especially when it’s not about you footing the bill. I recently spent an afternoon shopping in New York City with my son, and what struck me wasn’t just that he wanted my opinion… but that this time, there was no assumption I’d be paying. It’s not the first time he’s ever bought clothes, but it was the first time he bought them with me. And it was one of those subtle, proud parenting moments standing at the register, watching him pay, realizing how much has shifted.

I did end up buying him one shirt as a birthday gift, but it felt less like a mom errand and more like time together. No stress, no expectations… just fun. And honestly, really nice.

These kinds of moments keep popping up lately. I’m deep in that sandwich generation life… navigating the needs of my mom and stepfather while trying to stay closely connected with my kids. We all went to dinner one night, and just picking a restaurant showed the generational gap. My sons picked it the day before we went. My mom? She’d have preferred it was booked two weeks earlier… so she could plan where to park and how far she’d have to walk.

Same thing with travel. When my older two sons were flying to meet us in Europe, it was 4:30 p.m. on the day of their 9 p.m. flight… and they hadn’t packed. No transportation figured out. And when I asked about it? I was the annoying one. Meanwhile, my mom would’ve known her flight details, packed her suitcase, and mapped out the route to the airport… weeks in advance.

I’m learning to find the humor in it. These everyday contrasts? They’re exhausting sometimes. It has me practicing Mel Robbins’ Let Them Theory quite often.